Been staying at home doing nothing for the past few weeks. When there is nuthing to do, your brain just can't stop thinking. I have been thinking, thinking whether i have done a lot for both my family and friends. I think I have not done much. But what's my definition of the ' a lot' and the 'much'? I also dont noe. LOL. I used to think that as long as I treat them with sincerity then everything will be just fine. Yet its not the same for some. You see, everyone is born differently. Everyone has this complicated brain which thinks differently. And tt brain is protected by our skull, even if it isnt protected, we cant see wat the other person is thinking about. So in life, there are people guessing each other's emotions, guessing how the other party is feeling and assuming what the other party is feeling. This makes life more interesting and challenging, yet it also somehow created misunderstandings. I find that human beings are weird creatures.( Yes, myself included) Words are said just so easily but actions are nv seen. Things are done jjust so easily but consequences are not bore. Feelings are covered up to ensure that the other party is protected but dont youself feel hurt? In other cases, feelings are expressed, but don you think the other party may get hurt just because of your words? Hmm. Some may not care so much, cuz its not in their dictionary to care. But for thoes hu care, haiz. its tough to be a human, isnt it? Some human may be hypocrite. Or rather, puttnig it in nicer words, thats the way to survive in society. But that irks me. Totally hate that. I hate how the way the soceity works. It may reflect the inner self of pplz ( in this case its gd, helping us to see hu is evil) , but it may also drive one to be a hypocrite to survive in the society (gradually losing their niceness). Eh, some may say they will nt move a single bit, they will remain their stand and stand strong in their beliefs when working in the society. I dont deny there may be surviving cases like tis in the society. But if you hate your boss, will you dare to put a black face at work when you face your boss and do a lot of things to irritate him practically becuz you hate him? Or will you put a smile in front of him and bad mouth him behind his back cuz he is your boss? Even frds, some frds bad mouth one another behind each other's back. I don't deny that I am one such person and i dislike this part of me. I was even worse in the past, but after my dad said that ' if that person is a frd to me, i wouldn't say all these'. Then it dawned on me that wat i have been doing is wrong unless i really do not treat them as frds. There are times when i grumbled abt frds. I do complain abt them to others, but i will also tell them what i hated abt them(of cuz filtering out some hurtful words but the meaning is there), so that either their opinions change or they change mine. Or maybe not say change, just accept each other's views. BUT sometimes when consensus werent met, of cuz remaining silent will be the best to avoid quarrels. At this point of time, we just gt to accept tht because pplz hold different views and have different characters and personalities, which cant be changed just becuz of a few words that you said. Hmm. I dun like 'wars' among friends (if you still deem them as frds, then why the 'wars'?) . Some frds noe the chou shi of urs so well that they may rake some out to tease you. I read from a magazine or heard a song .. or sumthing, i dont remb la. lol. it wrote tt frds will not tell strangers or other frds who doesnt noe tt chou shi of yours so as not to embarrass you. lol. i find this true. cuz relli, there are just stuff that happened in the past that I wouldn;t want anyone else except those hu already know to know. And I wouldnt like frds to even mention it. let bygones be bygones and the past shall be the past. haha. When you noe your frds so well, you may even noe when they are angry with you, when they wan to avoid you, when they dont feel like talkin to you and when everything just went wrong. For me, when i feel that everything just went wrong, i had 2 options. 1) To make them happy( if i have the energy) 2) just escape (if I am tired). In the past, it would be option one cuz i am young. I still have the vitality to clear any misunderstandings or any unhappiness. LOL. But after turning 21, i feel old. Very old. I dont have the energy to care about anything anymore. I wont bother to make things right again. When people get closer, friction may be present. Quarrels occur. Some will bring the relationship even closer, yet some will not. By choosing to escape may just worsen any misunderstanding, such tings just wear pplz out. And hu xiang cai yi, hui rang ren hao lei. But, gan gan shuo, you pa de zui ren. ZzzZ. Complicated isn't it? Everyone likes praises, hates criticism. No one likes to be criticised, even if some criticism is gd for you. And sumtimes you hate those becuz those are words of truth that knock you out of ur senses, which doesnt allow you to stay in ur fantasy world anymore. Hence, you get angry, you get upset even though you know tose are right. Soometimes you get defensive, bcuz you want to guard yourself and you fear that you will be exposed. Sometimes, you find excuses, cuz you just wan to escape. Sometimes you applied some self consoling, cuz you are guilty. Somtimes, you talk to ppl, to get them to agree with you, and when they dont, you get angry or maybe you may listen to them. Sometimes ..... Human, being the more intelligent are more complicated. BUT, in the animal world, animls may also face the same problem(hate each other, bycott each other etc) and bcuz I am not one, that is why i assume that human are more complicated. LOL. This post was done by a not so fit chl (having flu and a sexy voice). This is raw and unedited. Didnt bother to re-read too. Pardon me for any eng mistakes. this is just the result of cooping at home.bored.
P.S: Any similarities to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.

-Hong-